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Dwarf Rampage

Buster Machine No. 2262
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About Dwarf Rampage

Age: 45
Gender: M
Location: Ferndale, MI

Joined: 16 years ago on 06/15/04
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Would You Hit It? Would Dwarf Rampage?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Word to people's mothers and stuff”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Read fantasy novels and comics. Watching anime and sci-fi. Play roleplaying games, boardgames, whatever”

What's your dream job?

“Not really sure. I have never been able to make up my mind. ”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I have never done anything funny.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Shiny happy people that might be interested in holding hands”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Spirited Away, X, Outlaw Star, Cowboy Bebop, Record of Lodoss War, 3X3 Eyes, Doomed Megalopolis, The Hakkenden, Twelve Kingdoms, Akira, Serial Experiments Lain, Here is Green Wood, Please Save My Earth, Green Legend Ran, Ninja Scroll,Excel Saga, Iria”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“How about bands? Blonde Redhead, Bauhaus, Wire, The Smiths, The Sundays, Neutral Milk Hotel, Pavement, Dead Kennedys, and others.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Dungeons & Dragons, Shadowrun, Paranoia, Claustrophobia, Settlers of Catan, Munchikin, GOSU, and so on.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“D&D and Shadowrun”

Jaeger Assignment

Dwarf Rampage is currently piloting MASCULINE LUMBERJACK with JFish

MASCULINE LUMBERJACK's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Mustache-Mounted Arrow
  • Mustache-Mounted Missiles

DOSSIER: Role is to supply intense offense intended to destroy the Kaiju by fucking up their faces. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Cumberbatch, a plan to use an experimental, truly astonishing concentrated energy blast to decisively end inflation. Impervious to emotions. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Storm when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of homeless drunks in order to save the oldest remaining public library in Topeka. Sometimes, spiritual advisors have expressed concern over the pilots' oral hygiene. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and comic books. Existence didn't really change much when nipples were eaten by assassins. It was at the age of 6 that he swore revenge. Spent the next several seconds trying to get laid in a filthy homeless shelter. Each sexual fuck-up was a step closer to being less of an asshole that his heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite being completely blind because of his burning passion to succeed.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up failure despite annoying the shit out of his copilot. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he dedicated himself to curing AIDS and is basically doing alright.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you think you know and react to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Believe me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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