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Buster Machine No. 2263
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About spyrral

Age: 44
Gender: M
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 16 years ago on 06/15/04
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Status: No Fat Chicks
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“See you in OB 2.0!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“. . .”

Jaeger Assignment

spyrral is currently piloting EARTHQUAKE VOLCANO with Devi

EARTHQUAKE VOLCANO's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Austistic Machine Gun
  • Thousand-Choke-Hold Tantrum

DOSSIER: Primary function is to unleash sporadic offense intended to confuse the Kaiju by fucking up their reproductive organs. May be vulnerable to bad advice. As we all know that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Unicorn when the pilots sacrificed two or three schoolchildren in order to save a single flower. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are fun-loving and like nothing better than to kick some Kaiju brains.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was a brillian scientist. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 5 that he had a sex change. Eventually, he mastered the techniques of babysitting. Each grueling fuck-up was a step toward the bloody satisfaction that his parents expected from him.

Educated at Oxford where he studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a seasoned expert with never-before-seen brutality, termed "Ferocious Falcon Style", he soon gained the attention of some homeless guy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent triumph despite killing basically everybody. Due to his actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Following the touching battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Corporal by the President of what remained of the world.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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