gabi

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: Arnold, MO

Joined: 10 years ago on 03/24/10
Last Visit: 10 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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gabi is currently piloting HUNK RACER with BassMan405

HUNK RACER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Arrow
• Sixty Four-Punch Inferno

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply suicidally-insane repair services to civilians, even during the confusion of night-time combat. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Freedom, a plan to use a game-changing, secret fried chicken recipe to decisively end Obamacare. In the past, other Jaeger pilots have envied the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will perform like a real pussy unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they take a huge shit on the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was a brillian scientist. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 23 that she reached puberty. Each erotic lesson was a step away from the ultimate revenge that her heart yearned for.

Unlocked her inner unicorn in a den of thieves where she studied whatever the fuck she felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a bull with sizzling levels of violence, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", she soon gained the erections of hippies.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of her mother. Thanks to her efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

Deciding to learn a lesson, she re-dedicated herself to shaving her pubes and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of her if she opened up her hearts. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.