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Tacotruck

Buster Machine No. 22941
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About Tacotruck

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 10 years ago on 05/07/10
Last Visit: 10 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would Tacotruck?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“i'll make my own profile- with blackjack! and hookers! and most certainly classy cocktails!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“slave in the art mines. sometimes said photos are art. at least when I'm not making money they tend to be art. I love going to music shows, reading crazy books, writing... I curate art shows, play pelvic penuckle, and love drinking, especially beer.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“freelance art (you know, if you replace "magic" with "art" in Harry Potter, it tells the story of a poor oppressed artist?)”

What's your dream job?

“art and/or professional hobo wrangler”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I woke up after a night of blackout drinking in the middle of a take of an anti-drinking PSA.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“hookers, and people who make classy cocktails and tolerate my rants about art.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“What do you think about my fist in your face? Or, "Upside your head." ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Angel's Egg, Nausicaa, Five Star Stories, Evangelion, Dead Leaves”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“loud and/or annoying... I mostly am in to noise rock, post-rock, black & doom metal, avant jazz and shoegaze these days”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“i start cons. then i take photos at cons. mostly of you and your friends puking in the bathroom. or dry heaving at least. also, even though I wear suit coats, I've probably started more anime clubs than you've been to.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“my liver barely survived the first decade of cons, I don't think it would last too long against all the 14-year-olds that swarm the current cons...”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturnes, Dragon Quest 8”

Jaeger Assignment

Tacotruck is currently piloting CRIMSON BADASS with elitebeatagent

CRIMSON BADASS's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Manticore's Arrow
  • Leopard's Knuckles

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to destroy Kaiju and supply helpful blowjobs to other Jaeger pilots. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and live to crush some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was a mild-mannered librarian. Not really aroused by the death of his hamster at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Eventually, he learned the secrets of babysitting. Each grueling yeast infection was a step closer to the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Found himself in a den of thieves where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a bull with sizzling speed, termed "Invincible Armadillo Style", he soon gained the admiration of nudists.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked crowd-pleaser despite impregnating the old lady down the block. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he dedicated himself to drinking a lot and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the crazy situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you're fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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