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Sister The Penguin

Buster Machine No. 23087
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About Sister The Penguin

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 10 years ago on 06/06/10
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Status: Airlocked
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 30 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 2424 times
Would You Hit It? Would Sister The Penguin?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an open relationship.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Sister The Penguin is currently piloting COURAGEOUS BASTARD with Pez

COURAGEOUS BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Laser Whip
  • Elbow-Mounted Needle

DOSSIER: Role is is to disable Kaiju and supply tricky massages to other Jaeger pilots. At times, commanding officers have complimented the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was prone to fits of melancholy. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 5 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. As time progressed, he totally failed to unlock the techniques of drinking. Each erotic day was a step away from the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Unlocked his inner unicorn by the school of life where he studied economics, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up success despite impregnating a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"You, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you learned and react to the fucked-up situation right in front of you. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. Trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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