Super Jaundice is currently piloting THUNDERING BEEFCAKE with PhillyKrueger
THUNDERING BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:
Nuclear Machine Gun of Suffering
Raptor's Wedgie Whirlwind
DOSSIER: Role is is to supply tricky counseling services to basically anybody who asks, even during the mayhem of undercover lovemaking. Cannot be damaged by gentle attacks. Often, the pilots' parents have heaped praise upon the pilots' dedication to partying. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they piss all over the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was an arms dealer. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Each sexual moment was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that that her sense of honor demanded.
Educated in a secret Buddhist temple where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.
During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite killing nearly anybody that gave a shit. According to survivors, most of the town was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.
Following the grueling battle, pilot was immediately promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.
Experts have described her sensual kissing style as "second-rate ass-grabbing", while others have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since Mike Tyson invaded Barcelona."
Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.
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