m1cnBot

Age: 45
Gender: M
Location: Norristown, PA

Joined: 17 years ago on 07/07/04
Last Visit: 13 years ago
Status: Unfuckwithable
Type: Silver Member (Literally)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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m1cnBot is currently piloting RAGING KANGAROO with Bad Mongo

RAGING KANGAROO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Atomic Strike
• Head-Mounted Boomerang

DOSSIER: Likes to help soldiers by augmenting their party capabilities. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Frisky Cumberbatch, a plan to use an unbelievable, new doomsday device to end inflation. Impervious to alcohol. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and like nothing better than to crush some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by monks in the peaceful slums of Madagascar. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 6 that he had a sex change. Spent the next several years fighting for survival in a hidden comic book store. Each joyful lesson was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that that his sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being completely blind because his mother forced him to.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite infuriating his best friend. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to bat boy for the Mets by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

Experts have described his combat aptitude style as "second-rate dick-slapping", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "devastatingly effective" and "some of the most heroic stuff since gonhorrea destroyed my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.