madilicious is currently piloting VORTEX BASTARD with Deadm0nk
VORTEX BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:
Inflamed Caress of Vengeance
Satisfaction Headbutt
DOSSIER: Job is to unleash lightning-like offense intended to annihilate the Kaiju by murdering their assholes. During the Battle Of Yankee Stadium, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to party while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and have one purpose, which is to smash some Kaiju limbs.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of mom you wish you had. Father was a homeless man. Not all that devastated by the conversion to Islam of some shitty cat at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 5 that she reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several hours sleeping in a hidden robot repair shop. Each erotic day was a step closer to the triumph that that her sense of honor demanded.
Was accepted to Harvard despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of having nothing better to do.
After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite "accidentally" killing her best friend. Due to her actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.
In the aftermath of the grueling battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to the general's dogwalker by her first grade teacher.
"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot worse at shit in general if she took my dick out of her mouth once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.
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