OmNomCupcake

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: Mary Esther, FL

Joined: 8 years ago on 12/18/10
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 586 days from now

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OmNomCupcake is currently piloting DROWSY STALLION with Dr. Gonzo

DROWSY STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Mustache-Mounted Arrow Thrust
• Spectacular Nippletwister

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support other Jaeger pilots by upgrading their sexual power. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Ragnarok, a plan to use an unbelievable, secret fried chicken recipe to prolong inflation. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. Often, homeless men have heaped praise upon the pilots' combat effectivness. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to punch some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with mongooses in the affluent slums of an average American small town. Not really aroused by the conversion to Islam of some shitty cat guys that really knew how to party, in her own way. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with controlling her emotions. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several hours getting her ass kicked in a seriously shady gay bath house. Each erotic fuck-up was a step away from the sensitive touching that her heart yearned for.

Unlocked her inner unicorn in some homeless guy's alleyway where she studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite impregnating everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

When the dust settled after the grueling battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Corporal by God himself.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything she taught you and adapt to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. And trust me, this is one crazy asshole who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.