Toastersix

Age: 25
Gender: F
Location: New York, NY

Joined: 3 years ago on 02/02/11
Last Visit: 2 hours ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 420 days from now

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Toastersix is currently piloting DRUNKEN TORNADO with Hymak

DRUNKEN TORNADO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Damnation Wedgie
• Destruction Nippletwister

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to upset Kaiju and supply much-needed massages to basically anybody who asks. We can safely say that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Secret Asskicking when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's homeless drunks in order to save a small amount of time. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of popcorn and church-going. Existence didn't really change much when friends were seduced by assassins. It was at the age of 6 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Each surpising fuck-up was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked her inner unicorn in a den of thieves where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Deciding to get a clue, she dedicated herself to shaving her pubes and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "She'd be a lot worse at piloting giant robots if she took my dick out of her mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.