LeTonzy

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Baldwin Park, CA

Joined: 8 years ago on 05/26/11
Last Visit: 7 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 355 days from now

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LeTonzy is currently piloting HALLELUJAH JUGGERNAUT with vlyandra

HALLELUJAH JUGGERNAUT's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Breast-Mounted Soup Ladle of Judgement
• Sixty Four-Nippletwister Technique

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply perilous counseling services to civilians, even during the heartbreak of high-speed brawls. Cannot be damaged by violent caresses. As we all know that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Stalwart Ragnarok when the pilots sacrificed several thousand Shake Shacks in order to save a single flower. In the past, spiritual advisors have been awestruck by the pilots' dedication to asskicking. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they punch the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by wolves in the dangerous suburbs of an average American small town. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were killed by giant robots, which is kind of a recurring hime here. It was at the age of 6 that he discovered bathing. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds doing nothing in a seriously shady warehouse. Each surpising moment was a step closer to the sensitive touching that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Was accepted to Harvard despite a painful recurring prolapse because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

When the dust settled after the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Head Badass by his commanding officer.

"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything he taught you and react to the fucked-up situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. And trust me, this is one soldier who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.