xXRinStarXx

Age: 27
Gender: F
Location: Flint, MI

Joined: 7 years ago on 11/25/11
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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xXRinStarXx is currently piloting THUNDERING TINGLE with Firesong

THUNDERING TINGLE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Crimson Pound
• Mustache-Mounted Sword

DOSSIER: Job is to support basically anybody who asks by upgrading their long-range detection capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Magical, a plan to use a fucked-up, truly astonishing aggressive handjob technique to prolong Obamacare. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they piss all over the Kaiju without destroying each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was a homeless man. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 6 that she reached puberty. Each withering moment was a step toward the ultimate revenge that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Educated at Sweet Valley High where she studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. Due to her actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Chief Asskicker by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

"People need to understand, you can study the training videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you think you know and react to the crazy situation at hand. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. And trust me, this is one crazy asshole who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.