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Ikirus

Buster Machine No. 2558
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About Ikirus

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Sacramento, CA

Joined: 10 years ago on 08/02/04
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 9253 times
Would You Hit It? Would Ikirus?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Ney-khown-lah? (That's how you say Hello in my language. Though I'm not certain of the transliteration.)”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“League of Legends”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a sales rep by trade. Currently I'm managing the sales and marketing for a small software company.”

What's your dream job?

“Pretty much this, but in a few years. In a few years I will be vested. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'm hear to connect with old friends. ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Other Online Gaming Info

“Final Fantasy XI (Ragnarok World), World of Warcraft (Etrigg and Spinebreaker Servers), Robert Stark on Guild Wars.”

Jaeger Assignment

Ikirus is currently piloting RESOURCEFUL DRAGON with Andrew

RESOURCEFUL DRAGON's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Sexy Crossbow Volley of Retribution
  • Shoulder-Mounted Whip

DOSSIER: Job is to support civilians by upgrading their offensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Hogwarts, a plan to use an experimental, secret aggressive handjob technique to end this war for human survival. Sometimes, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' masturbation habits. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of cocaine and church-going. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were seduced by ninjas. It was at the age of 23 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Spent the next several seconds sleeping in a hidden field. Each withering day was a step away from the triumph that his parents expected from him.

Was accepted to Harvard despite being completely blind because his mother forced him to. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a bull with surprising power, termed "Invincible Hulk Style", he soon gained the praise of instructors.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite impregnating his mother. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at embracing my love if he started touching himself a little more. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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