Twinkle

Age: 38
Gender: F
Location: Dallas, TX

Joined: 15 years ago on 08/02/04
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Twinkle is currently piloting LACTATING MERMAID with Tim

LACTATING MERMAID's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Seeping Caress of Sexuality
• Justice Uppercut Technique

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply ferocious massages to friendly forces, even during the frenzy of covert skirmishes. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Hogwarts, a plan to use a game-changing, truly astonishing nuclear weapon to end this war for human survival. May be vulnerable to emotions. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding combat effectivness. Frequently, media pundits have envied the pilots' sexual health. Everybody agrees: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 19 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Spent the next several hours getting her ass kicked in a filthy warehouse. Each enchanting yeast infection was a step toward being less of an asshole that her parents expected from her.

Schooled in a den of thieves where she studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

In the aftermath of the grueling battle, pilot was immediately promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

Experts have described her sensual kissing style as "embarrassing dick-slapping", while others have described it as "completely dope" and "some of the best mayhem since Godzilla destroyed people left and right."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.