threeZ is currently piloting MACHO RUFFIAN with Johnny Strider
MACHO RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:
Predictable Dildo
Nimble Head Kick of Joyfulness
DOSSIER: Role is to perform furious offense designed to destroy the Kaiju by murdering their friends. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Diddler, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient concentrated energy blast to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. Impervious to party drugs. During the Battle Of Atlanta, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to combat effectivness.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and beatings. Not all that aroused by the conversion to Islam of grandmother at the age of three. At an early age, showed no promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 5 that she swore revenge. Each sexual fuck-up was a step closer to the sensitive touching that that her sense of honor demanded.
Truly blossomed by the school of life where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius.
During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite infuriating everybody in the Western Hemisphere. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.
Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.
"Listen up, rookie, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything she taught you and react to the new situation at hand. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.
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