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Buster Machine No. 2585
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About Craig

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Heath, OH

Joined: 16 years ago on 08/06/04
Last Visit: 9 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would Craig?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Oh god, where am I?”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I play a defunct card game that was owned by White Wolf/CCP Games called Vampire The Eternal Struggle”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Security Guard”

What's your dream job?

“Getting paid to be this awesome.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm not a funny guy D:”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Admiral William Adama”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?


Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Macross, Macross 7, Hare Nochi Guu, Jellyfish Princess”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Is CLUTCH a genre? No? Well I listen to most everything.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Tabletop and PC gaming mostly.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?


Into games? List your favorites!

“River City Ransom, Armored Core series, Metal Gear Solid series, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.”

Steam Nickname


Other Online Gaming Info

“Minecraft, Counterstrike Source on occasion, BF3 when it releases.”

Jaeger Assignment

Craig is currently piloting RUMBLING RUFFIAN with DreamsInChrome

RUMBLING RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Sixty Four-Dropkick Flood
  • Divine Nipple Caress

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply courageous counseling services to other Jaegers, even during the melancholy of undercover combat. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Secret Nightmare, during which most of Brazil was destroyed in an effort to ...well, for no apparent reason, but it looked really cool. One thing is certain: these pilots are fun-loving and live to explode some Kaiju reproductive organs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 5 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each enchanting yeast infection was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Became high school valedictorian despite excessive body odor because of having nothing better to do.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was saved and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.

Following the touching battle, pilot was angrily promoted to General by the President of what remained of the world.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at everything if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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