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Tender Roni

Buster Machine No. 2586
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About Tender Roni

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 10 years ago on 08/06/04
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 10200 times
Would You Hit It? Would Tender Roni?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm a midwestcutie ;)”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“smooch my daughter & baby boy and make up silly songs and nicknames for them. I love my fat baby boy, he's my chunk buddah!!!”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a stay at home mom and I need to get the fuck outtttttt!!! Love my kiddos though!!!”

What's your dream job?

“chill master”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“aliens”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“no se”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“um”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“XTC, Radiohead, Bjork, Sigur Ros, Stevie Wonder, Bill Withers, Etta James, Depeche Mode, Blur, Lykke Li, The Beatles, Tom Waits, The John Spencer Blues Explosion, The The. ”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“no se”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“AX to see what happens to Matt fucking Miller, and BC09!!!!”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Wario ware, Dr. Mario...TETRIS”

Jaeger Assignment

Tender Roni is currently piloting EAGLE TORNADO with EL Sean

EAGLE TORNADO's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Shark's Boomerang
  • Salvation Nippletwister

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply helpful massages to other Jaeger pilots. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Unicorn, a plan to use a fucked-up, truly astonishing concentrated energy blast to ensure the designated hitter rule. Frequently, spiritual advisors have been awestruck by the pilots' intensity. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to really bum you out if the pilots don't really have their shit together. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and beatings. Life didn't really change much when goldfish were fellated by her little brother. It was at the age of 5 that she had a sex change. Soon, she totally failed to unlock the art of drinking. Each grueling yeast infection was a step toward being less of an asshole that her parents expected from her.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite a painful recurring prolapse because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite falling in love with her mother. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Refusing to get a clue, she re-dedicated herself to drinking a lot and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

Critics have described her combat aptitude style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "instant boner material" and "some of the best Jaeger piloting since my dad ravaged Barcelona."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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