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slammervenom

Buster Machine No. 26043
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About slammervenom

Age: 51
Gender: M
Location: Milford, PA

Joined: 5 years ago on 09/21/12
Last Visit: 11 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would slammervenom?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hello”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“COD- Shoot guns - Whatever pops up.”

What's your dream job?

“One that just lets me do my job. No politics, no bs, just honest days pay for an honest days work.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Anyone who just wants someone to be REAL... No lies no sugarcoaters...”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I got a phone, pc, it's all good.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“VAMPIRE HUNTER D - NINJA SCROLL - ”

Jaeger Assignment

slammervenom is currently piloting ROBO LUMBERJACK with GainaxForever

ROBO LUMBERJACK's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Twitterpated Caress
  • Triple-Stomp Penetation

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to upset Kaiju and supply tricky massages to basically anybody who asks. May be vulnerable to melancholy. During the Battle Of Atlanta, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to party while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was deeply in love with her. Deeply devastated by the murder of his hamster at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with controlling his emotions. It was at the age of 5 that he had a sex change. Each sexual beat-down was a step away from becoming a true sexual being, and was all that that his sense of honor demanded.

Unlocked his inner unicorn by the school of life where he studied economics, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

When the dust settled after the grueling battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to potato peeler, first class by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

So-called experts have described his combat aptitude style as "weak-ass ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "completely dope" and "some of the toughest stuff since Gen. George Patton destroyed a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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