KittyRo

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: Whittier, CA

Joined: 7 years ago on 04/18/13
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 32 days from now

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KittyRo is currently piloting RUFFIAN PASSION with Wafflefries

RUFFIAN PASSION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Bison's Battle-Axe Thrust
• Womb-Mounted Cutlass

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply suicidally-insane massages to friendly forces, even during the heartbreak of covert combat. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Highway Magical, a plan to use an experimental, truly astonishing aggressive handjob technique to end struggle against Kaiju. Impervious to alcohol. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Highway Ragnarok, during which most of Baltimore was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may cause incurable cancer unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by mongooses in the dangerous swamps of Transylvania. At an early age, showed no promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 6 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Each sexual day was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that her heart yearned for.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being completely blind because of her burning passion to succeed.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent triumph despite falling in love with nearly anybody that gave a shit. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

"People need to understand, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there partying, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and react to the life or death situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. And trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.