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Buster Machine No. 26482
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About AlluringSecrets

Age: 27
Gender: F
Location: San Antonio, TX

Joined: 7 years ago on 05/09/13
Last Visit: 20 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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“No longer active here.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

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“Here to make friends only”

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Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

AlluringSecrets is currently piloting OVERWHELMING JUGGERNAUT with Fajrolumo

OVERWHELMING JUGGERNAUT's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Unstoppable Elbow Suplex of Vengeance
  • Wondrous Shoulder Uppercut

DOSSIER: Role is is to upset Kaiju and supply courageous tax advice to other Jaegers. We can safely say that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Rainbow Hercules when the pilots sacrificed many psychopaths in order to save several terabytes of pornography. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they crush the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and tough love. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 19 that she had a sex change. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds battling for her life in a secret warehouse. Each surpising beat-down was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that her parents expected from her.

Truly blossomed at Stanford where she studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a tiger with frankly unnecessary power, termed "Invincible Tiger Style", she soon gained the attention of perverts all over the world.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Due to her actions, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to curing AIDS and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything she taught you and adapt to the fucked-up situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Trust me, this is one crazy asshole who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.

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