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kenton

Buster Machine No. 26510
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About kenton

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Indianapolis, IN

Joined: 6 years ago on 05/31/13
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 555 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 1124 times
Would You Hit It? Would kenton?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“My name is Kenton. I return older an wiser than before. ”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“vimeo.com/crookedcreature”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“freelance artist/videographer”

What's your dream job?

“GUITAR SOLO”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“dananana dananana bewwwwwwwwww meeedley meeedley mowwwwww”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“The Face of Boe”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“spweeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww bababbabababana na na naaaaaaaa squeeeeeeddddleeeeeee”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“space beaver”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDEEEELEEEEEEEEDEEEEEEEEEEEE”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“riding horses that look like people”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“mrawwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrr mahmamama bee bee dee bweeeeeeeee”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Dead Space, Beautiful Katamari, Skyrim, Super Meat Boy”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“ronweasley”

Other Online Gaming Info

“Black Ops 2, Castle Crashers, Scott Pilgrim”

Jaeger Assignment

kenton is currently piloting HUNK BASTARD with Ghostwolf Kai

HUNK BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Atomic Bash
  • Billion-Bodycheck Thrust Flood of Satisfaction

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed counseling services to soldiers, even during the confusion of covert combat. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Asshole, a plan to use an unbelievable, new fried chicken recipe to decisively end this war for human survival. Cannot be damaged by sensitive enemy attacks. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to perform like a real pussy if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they take a huge shit on the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. Existence didn't really change much when friends were eaten by ninjas. It was at the age of 23 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Eventually, he totally failed to unlock the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each withering yeast infection was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.

Found himself in some homeless guy's alleyway where he studied economics, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite killing Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to embracing his inner sensuality and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

So-called experts have described his robot piloting style as "second-rate bullshit", while others have described it as "instant boner material" and "some of the coolest stuff since Gen. George Patton destroyed people left and right."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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