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hello eileen

Buster Machine No. 2767
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About hello eileen

Age: 32
Gender: F
Location: Hacienda Heights, 91745

Joined: 10 years ago on 09/14/04
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm a lot like my Yelp review votes: Funny, useful but not very cool.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I like to make lists”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm unemployed and have no plans to go back to work. Ever.”

What's your dream job?

“Exactly what I'm doing now.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“...”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“First person shooters make me dizzy”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“helloeileen”

Jaeger Assignment

hello eileen is currently piloting MAGNIFICENT HAWK with ShakeNBake

MAGNIFICENT HAWK's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Murderous Staff
  • Ear-Mounted Shield

DOSSIER: Primary function is to unleash surgical offense intended to confuse the Kaiju by fucking up their reproductive organs. We can safely say that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Eruption when the pilots sacrificed several thousand psychopaths in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they explode the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of popcorn and intellectual stimulation. Existence didn't really change much when nipples were killed by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 5 that she had a sex change. As time progressed, she learned the techniques of oral hygeine. Each suprisingly filthy day was a step closer to the triumph that that her sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being completely blind because sometimes life is crazy like that.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked crowd-pleaser despite impregnating Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot better at shit in general if she stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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