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Age: 38Gender: FLocation: Columbus, OH
Joined: 15 years ago on 10/03/04Last Visit: 20 months agoType: Lifetime Member Paid Member Privileges: YesPrivileges Expire: Never!
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Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!
“Somebody tell 'em who the fuck I is”
Current Relationship Status
“I'm in an open relationship.”
What do you do for fun?
What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.
“I make pretzels and teach board games”
What's your dream job?
“Hermit, mad chemist, nude layabout”
Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!
“Nothing has ever been funny.”
Which gender are you interested in?
What kind of relationship are you looking for?
“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”
Describe the sort of person you're looking for!
Do you think long distance relationships can work?
“I DON'T GIVE A FUCK”
Name some of your favorite anime and manga...
What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?
“Yes, very thank you. ”
What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...
“Fantasy Role-playing Games”
If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?
“BC 2017 🤷”
Into games? List your favorites!
“OVERWATCH, Dungeon World, Burning Wheel, Dungeons & Dragons, Paranoia, Spelunky”
XBox Live! Gamertag
“A Cold Wet Beef”
Other Online Gaming Info
Matthew is currently piloting LIBERTY WOMBAT with TSK
LIBERTY WOMBAT's special combat abilities are known to include:
DOSSIER: Role is to perform sporadic offense designed to confuse the Kaiju by pulverizing their friends. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to yell like a motherfucker while simultaneously displaying outstanding masturbation habits. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to fingerbang some Kaiju feelings.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and comic books. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 23 that he discovered bathing. Each erotic day was a step toward the ultimate revenge that his parents expected from him.Was accepted to Harvard despite excessive body odor because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up success despite impregnating the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.Refusing to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and is basically doing alright."The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.
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