Ree_The_Tard

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: State College, PA

Joined: 14 years ago on 11/05/04
Last Visit: 16 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Ree_The_Tard is currently piloting COURAGE EMPEROR with Tenna

COURAGE EMPEROR's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Inappropriate Nipple Punch
• Devastation Jump-Kick

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support basically anybody who asks by improving their sexual capabilities. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Final Diddler, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient fried chicken recipe to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. Cannot be damaged by sensitive caresses. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Unyielding Sword, during which most of Yankee Stadium was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. Everybody agrees: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a travelling Gypsy. Father was a homeless man. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step closer to the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite a painful recurring prolapse because of his immense determination. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with drunkenly unpredictable power, termed "Elegant Armadillo Style", he soon gained the erections of perverts all over the world.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid thing that legends are made of despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Deciding to rest on his laurels, he re-dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you think you know and adapt to the life or death situation at hand. If you don't, you're fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.