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Mel

Buster Machine No. 3021
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About Mel

Age: 29
Gender: M
Location: , AK

Joined: 14 years ago on 11/21/04
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Would You Hit It? Would Mel?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Mel is currently piloting CURSED WHIPPERSNAPPER with pamelaNeko

CURSED WHIPPERSNAPPER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Barracuda's Black Hole Generator
  • Sixty Four-Blast Seizure

DOSSIER: Job is is to upset Kaiju and supply helpful massages to civilians. During the Battle Of Yankee Stadium, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding ability to chug a six-pack. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by robots in the affluent suburbs of Pittsburgh. Not really devastated by the death of some shitty cat when all he wanted was some ice cream. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 6 that he had a sex change. Spent the next several hours sleeping in a hidden comic book store. Each sexual lesson was a step away from the bloody satisfaction that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being completely blind because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing success despite impregnating everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to becoming even more of a badass and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"People need to understand, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the new situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. And trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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