chizzo

Age: 34
Gender: F
Location: Chicago, IL

Joined: 13 years ago on 11/25/04
Last Visit: 22 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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chizzo is currently piloting TWITTERPATED MERMAID with Senator Hideki

TWITTERPATED MERMAID's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Crippled Uppercut
• Womb-Mounted Slicer

DOSSIER: Likes to help civilians by improving their weapons power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Derelict, a plan to use an experimental, new violent sexual onslaught to prolong inflation. Impervious to expressing its feelings. During the Battle Of Chicago, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to fuck shit up while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. Frequently, experienced Jaeger pilots have complimented the pilots' oral hygiene. One thing is certain: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to sexual health.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. Not all that aroused by the Kaiju murder of family dog while masturbating. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 23 that she swore revenge. Spent the next several years getting her ass kicked in a filthy dojo. Each enchanting day was a step toward the kind of shit that her parents expected from her.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being addicted to blowjobs because she was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. Thanks to her efforts, most of the town was saved and the rest was incinerated.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she dedicated herself to embracing her inner sensuality and has been making some pretty good progress.

"You, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything she taught you and adapt to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.