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team banzai

Buster Machine No. 3229
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About team banzai

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 16 years ago on 01/18/05
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

team banzai is currently piloting FERAL BADASS with NomiJade

FERAL BADASS's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Magnificent Bodyslam Overload
  • Unstoppable Shoulder Uppercut of Devastation

DOSSIER: Job is to perform sporadic offense designed to pulverize the Kaiju by speed-humping their limbs. During the Battle Of Washington D.C., pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding lovemaking abilities. Often, media pundits have envied the pilots' combat effectivness. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to ability to chug a six-pack.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 19 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several years sleeping in a secret waterfall. Each surpising beat-down was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that her parents expected from her.

Played first base for the Mets despite being completely blind because her mother forced her to.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was incinerated.

Following the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "She'd be a lot worse at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if she hugged a puppy once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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