Imaginos

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Parsippany, NJ

Joined: 14 years ago on 02/13/05
Last Visit: 19 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Imaginos is currently piloting VOLCANO OMEGA with Chrispy

VOLCANO OMEGA's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Breathtaking Gauntlet
• Double-Suckerpunch Formation Seizure

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash overwhelming offense designed to embarrass the Kaiju by murdering their genitals. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Eruption, a plan to use a game-changing, secret boner pill to prolong struggle against Kaiju. Sometimes, the pilots' parents have complimented the pilots' sexual health. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and live to smash some Kaiju friends.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was prone to fits of melancholy. At an early age, showed much promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 23 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several hours fighting for survival in a filthy temple. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step closer to the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Was accepted to Harvard despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to shaving his pubes and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"You, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and react to the fucked-up situation at hand. If you don't, you're fucked. Believe me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.