caitlin

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Woodridge, IL

Joined: 16 years ago on 02/21/05
Last Visit: 12 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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caitlin is currently piloting BROKEN MAJESTY with Miz

BROKEN MAJESTY's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Hawk's Baseball Bat
• Lusty Elbow Kick

DOSSIER: Role is is to confuse Kaiju and supply much-needed repair services to other Jaeger pilots. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Derelict, a plan to use an experimental, secret nuclear weapon to hopefully end Obamacare. Frequently, homeless men have expressed concern over the pilots' masturbation habits. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to sexual health.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of popcorn and gin. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 23 that she had a sex change. Each withering fuck-up was a step away from becoming a true sexual being, and was all that her heart yearned for.

Truly blossomed at M.I.T. where she studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a tiger with sizzling speed, termed "Ferocious Tiger Style", she soon gained the erections of her master.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with basically everybody. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to opening her hearts to change and has no fucking idea what she's doing.

Jealous people have described her Jaeger tactics style as "weak-ass ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the best mayhem since gonhorrea ravaged your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.