AngelMeatPie

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Louisville, KY

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/23/05
Last Visit: 23 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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AngelMeatPie is currently piloting CHEETAH KRAKEN with Flip

CHEETAH KRAKEN's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Retribution Punch
• Shark's Chainsaw of Orgasmic Bliss

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply ferocious blowjobs to friendly forces, even during the melancholy of undercover lovemaking. May be vulnerable to alcohol. As we all know that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Sword when the pilots sacrificed several hundred homeless drunks in order to save money on car insurance. Frequently, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' oral hygiene. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they piss all over the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed no promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 6 that she reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several years doing nothing in a secret comic book store. Each grueling yeast infection was a step away from the kind of shit that her heart yearned for.

Was accepted to Harvard despite a painful recurring prolapse because of having nothing better to do. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a tiger with sensual power, termed "Ferocious Bastard Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of perverts all over the world.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. Due to her actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Following the touching battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and react to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Trust me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.