The Damned

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Chicago, IL

Joined: 16 years ago on 03/01/05
Last Visit: 13 days ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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The Damned is currently piloting ROBUST FALCON with Kemayo

ROBUST FALCON's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Hundred-Dropkick Festival
• Suffering Uppercut Spasm

DOSSIER: Role is to supply surgical offense designed to embarrass the Kaiju by destroying their emotions. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Magical Sword, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient fried chicken recipe to decisively end erectile dysfunction. We can safely say that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Flagrant Cumberbatch when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of unwed mothers in order to save several terabytes of pornography. Everybody agrees: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to partying.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with robots in the idyllic swamps of Hell itself. Not really affected by the death of family dog guys that really knew how to party, in his own way. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with controlling his emotions. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Soon, he totally failed to unlock the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step toward the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite a painful recurring prolapse because his mother forced him to.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent affair despite killing his mother. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Refusing to rest on his laurels, he re-dedicated himself to experimenting with foreplay instead of jumping right into "the good stuff" and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot worse at shit in general if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.