marinasaurus rex

Age: 26
Gender: F
Location: Comptche, CA

Joined: 9 years ago on 03/09/05
Last Visit: 7 hours ago
Type: Lifetime Member
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marinasaurus rex is currently piloting BLOOMER HALLELUJAH with Mac

BLOOMER HALLELUJAH's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Dragon's Mallet
• Triple-Blast Penetation

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply courageous tax advice to other Jaeger pilots, even during the heartbreak of night-time skirmishes. May be vulnerable to alcohol. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Unstoppable Freedom, during which most of Brazil was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and live to aggressively fuck some Kaiju faces.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a secretary. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. Not all that devastated by the conversion to Islam of father at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 23 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Soon, she learned the art of Hokuto Shinken. Each surpising beat-down was a step closer to the triumph that her heart yearned for.

Educated in a den of thieves where she studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite killing her copilot. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to shaving her pubes and has no fucking idea what she's doing.

"You, you can study the training videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation at hand. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. Believe me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.