Nurv

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Inglewood, CA

Joined: 15 years ago on 03/14/05
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 32 days from now

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Nurv is currently piloting FERRET QUARTERBACK with StColaPop

FERRET QUARTERBACK's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Cheetah's Frying Pan
• Mustache-Mounted Battle-Axe

DOSSIER: Role is to supply lightning-like offense designed to insult the Kaiju by speed-humping their emotions. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Cumberbatch, a plan to use an experimental, truly astonishing concentrated energy blast to ensure Obamacare. We can safely say that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Magical Cumberbatch when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's orphans in order to save some dude's record collection. Often, spiritual advisors have wished that the pilots would improve their ability to chug a six-pack. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may cause incurable cancer every so often. One thing is certain: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to ability to chug a six-pack.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with wolves in the tranquil suburbs of New York. Life didn't really change much when parents were kidnapped by giant robots, which is kind of a recurring hime here. It was at the age of 19 that he had a sex change. Gradually, he learned the secrets of sexually transmitted diseases. Each erotic lesson was a step away from the ultimate revenge that his heart yearned for.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite a painful recurring prolapse because of his immense determination.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite killing basically everybody. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was incinerated.

Refusing to get a clue, he dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and has been making some pretty good progress.

Experts have described his partying style as "weak-ass weaksauce", while mostly everybody else has described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the best mayhem since Bruce Lee invaded a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.