Ak is currently piloting STALKER VALKYRIE with Plastik_Smile
STALKER VALKYRIE's special combat abilities are known to include:
Womb-Mounted Bomb
Breast-Mounted Boomerang Formation of Damnation
DOSSIER: Primary function is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply helpful massages to basically anybody who asks. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Secret Eruption, during which most of Citizen's Bank Park was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and have one purpose, which is to punch some Kaiju genitals.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with some serious assholes in the tranquil suburbs of Dayton. Deeply aroused by the painful goiter loss of some shitty cat when all he wanted was some ice cream. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with controlling his emotions. It was at the age of 19 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Gradually, he mastered the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each grueling lesson was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.
Schooled at M.I.T. where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a bull with never-before-seen brutality, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of top-notch motherfuckers from around the world.
During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite impregnating Whoopi Goldberg. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was covered in blood.
Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to drinking a lot and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.
Experts have described his Jaeger tactics style as "second-rate bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee invaded my face."
Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.
Geek dating and social networking for awesome people.
27,215 Total Members 27,124,461 member profile views 248,522 Total Friendships Made 5586 people browsing the site right now 493,400 forum posts lately 5586 people browsing
Not A Member?
OtakuBooty is open to everybody. Anybody can browse the profiles, and find out about other smart, funny, sexy nerds who are looking for friends, love, or both.
Registered members get extra benefits like being able to post their own profiles for the world to see. Becoming a member is cheap and easy.