Ak

Age: 33
Gender: M
Location: Norristown, PA

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/26/05
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 623 days from now

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Ak is currently piloting STALKER VALKYRIE with Plastik_Smile

STALKER VALKYRIE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Womb-Mounted Bomb
• Breast-Mounted Boomerang Formation of Damnation

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply helpful massages to basically anybody who asks. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Secret Eruption, during which most of Citizen's Bank Park was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and have one purpose, which is to punch some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with some serious assholes in the tranquil suburbs of Dayton. Deeply aroused by the painful goiter loss of some shitty cat when all he wanted was some ice cream. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with controlling his emotions. It was at the age of 19 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Gradually, he mastered the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each grueling lesson was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.

Schooled at M.I.T. where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a bull with never-before-seen brutality, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of top-notch motherfuckers from around the world.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite impregnating Whoopi Goldberg. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was covered in blood.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to drinking a lot and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

Experts have described his Jaeger tactics style as "second-rate bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.