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Mesothelioma

Buster Machine No. 3579
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About Mesothelioma

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/31/05
Last Visit: 14 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 1681 times
Would You Hit It? Would Mesothelioma?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hey, I'm a cancer affecting the abdominal cavity, chest cavity, and the region surrounding the heart.”

Current Relationship Status

“Seeing some people, not tied down.”

What do you do for fun?

“Reproduce at an accelerated and uncontrolled rate.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I give people respiratory distress, a lasting cough, and pneumonia.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“People who are exposed to asbestos.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I don't like them. I prefer to be as close to you as possible.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Mesothelioma is currently piloting STEAMY VIOLENCE with Fiver

STEAMY VIOLENCE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Rotund Bomb
  • Breast-Mounted Black Hole Generator

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply ferocious tax advice to civilians, even during the heartbreak of undercover brawls. Perhaps historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Resilient Eruption, during which most of Paris was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. Sometimes, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and gin. Life was transformed permanently when nipples were fellated by assassins. It was at the age of 5 that she reached puberty. Each erotic fuck-up was a step closer to the bloody satisfaction that her heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because sometimes life is crazy like that.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite annoying the shit out of her mother. Thanks to her efforts, most of the city was saved and the rest was pretty happy about it.

When the dust settled after the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by the President of what remained of the world.

Experts have described her partying style as "weak-ass bullshit", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest mayhem since Bruce Lee invaded nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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