Boudicca

Age: 49
Gender: F
Location: Cary, NC

Joined: 12 years ago on 04/24/05
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Boudicca is currently piloting SLEDGEHAMMER HOTDOG with nineballninja

SLEDGEHAMMER HOTDOG's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Fearless Bash
• Nimble Taint Strike Technique

DOSSIER: Primary function is to supply intense offense designed to insult the Kaiju by fucking up their reproductive organs. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Rumble, a plan to use an unbelievable, secret nuclear weapon to hopefully end erectile dysfunction. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of lima beans and church-going. Existence was transformed permanently when parents were kidnapped by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 5 that she swore revenge. Spent the next several hours fighting for survival in a hidden homeless shelter. Each surpising fuck-up was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that that her sense of honor demanded.

Schooled at Yale where she studied pretty much anything her voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that she was the type of person that never gets invited to parties. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a bull with sensual brutality, termed "Elegant Tiger Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of pretty much everybody.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite annoying the shit out of basically everybody. Due to her actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to embracing her inner sensuality and has no fucking idea what she's doing.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of her if she opened up her hearts. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.