Creepy Stalker

Age: 114
Gender: M
Location: ???, ???

Joined: 9 years ago on 04/27/05
Last Visit: 12 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Creepy Stalker is currently piloting THROBBING ASTEROID with Yesod

THROBBING ASTEROID's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Terrible Blaster
• Madness Dropkick

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply ferocious blowjobs to civilians, even during the mayhem of sexual skirmishes. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, every so often. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they crush the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was a brillian scientist. Existence threw a fucking curveball when parents were kidnapped by ninjas. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Eventually, he totally failed to unlock the art of sexual touching. Each withering yeast infection was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite being completely blind because sometimes life is crazy like that. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a scampering ferret with never-before-seen power, termed "Elegant Falcon Style", he soon gained the attention of his master.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was saved and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.

Refusing to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at everything if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.