Kaminabe

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Virginia Beach, VA

Joined: 14 years ago on 04/30/05
Last Visit: 10 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 364 days from now

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Kaminabe is currently piloting SEXUAL KANGAROO with Angeldust

SEXUAL KANGAROO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Million-Haymaker Assault
• Vengeance Suplex of Devastation

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply helpful massages to soldiers, even during the mayhem of desperate lovemaking. Impervious to expressing its feelings. During the Battle Of Chicago, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to perform handjobs while simultaneously displaying outstanding combat effectivness. Everybody agrees: these pilots are fun-loving and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with robots in the dangerous swamps of Hell itself. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 23 that he reached puberty. Each suprisingly filthy day was a step toward the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Found himself at Sweet Valley High where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a tiger with surprising speed, termed "Ferocious Tiger Style", he soon gained the attention of pretentious assholes everywhere.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of his mother. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to attempting to pilot his Jaeger sober and is basically doing alright.

"Buddy, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything you think you know and react to the crazy situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. And trust me, this is one crazy asshole who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.