Kapt Dai

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Fenton, MI

Joined: 14 years ago on 05/15/05
Last Visit: 20 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 431 days from now

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Kapt Dai is currently piloting MINOTAUR OMEGA with pookie

MINOTAUR OMEGA's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Austistic Butt Stomp Flood
• Somber Chainsaw

DOSSIER: Job is is to disable Kaiju and supply courageous blowjobs to soldiers. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Cumberbatch, a plan to use an experimental, ancient concentrated energy blast to end inflation. Certainly historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Flagrant Asskicking, during which most of Tokyo was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. At times, other Jaeger pilots have envied the pilots' dedication to partying. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with some serious assholes in the affluent foothills of Seattle. Existence didn't really change much when imaginary friends were kidnapped by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 6 that he swore revenge. Decided to spend the next several hours trying to get laid in a filthy youth hostel. Each joyful moment was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that that his sense of honor demanded.

Found himself by the school of life where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a drunken sailor with senseless passion, termed "Invincible Falcon Style", he soon gained the admiration of nudists.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing triumph despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. Due to his actions, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

In the aftermath of the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by his first grade teacher.

"People need to understand, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything he taught you and react to the fucked-up situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you're fucked. Believe me, this is one soldier who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.