Russi

Age: 34
Gender: F
Location: Temple, TX

Joined: 14 years ago on 06/01/05
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 586 days from now

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Russi is currently piloting SERAPHIM BEEFCAKE with Phantasm

SERAPHIM BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Terrible Black Hole Generator Festival
• Ear-Mounted Club

DOSSIER: Primary function is to supply sporadic offense intended to embarrass the Kaiju by fucking up their assholes. During the Battle Of Tokyo, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. Sometimes, media pundits have complimented the pilots' combat effectivness. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may act like a total asshole if the pilots don't really have their shit together. One thing is certain: these pilots are fun-loving and live to fingerbang some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with mongooses in the tranquil swamps of Hell itself. Existence threw a fucking curveball when nipples were kidnapped by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 6 that she reached puberty. Spent the next several seconds masturbating in a secret alley. Each erotic yeast infection was a step closer to the bloody satisfaction that her heart yearned for.

Slept with a village of hobos despite excessive body odor because of her burning passion to succeed. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a seasoned expert with senseless speed, termed "Ferocious Bastard Style", she soon gained the praise of hippies.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with some of the weakest bullshit attacks ever seen by mankind.

In the aftermath of the grueling battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

Haters have described her robot piloting style as "embarrassing bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the best stuff since my dad ravaged nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.