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Buster Machine No. 4061
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About Icewind

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Columbus, OH

Joined: 15 years ago on 06/08/05
Last Visit: 21 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 23 days from now

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“I shoot people for fun. And profit. ”

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“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

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Jaeger Assignment

Icewind is currently piloting WHIPPERSNAPPER BADASS with Grave

WHIPPERSNAPPER BADASS's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Erotic Whip
  • Nothingness Bash Technique

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting friendly forces by fortifying their offensive power. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Frisky Freedom, a plan to use an experimental, new nuclear weapon to hopefully end inflation. May be vulnerable to alcohol. Certainly historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Erotic Cumberbatch, during which most of Mexico was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. Everybody agrees: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to intensity.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of mom you wish you had. Father was a homeless man. Profoundly devastated by the murder of his favorite hobo lover while masturbating. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with getting thrown out of pet stores because of inappropriate touching. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each joyful moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Truly blossomed at the school of hard knocks where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was incinerated.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Chief Asskicker by by popular demand.

Jealous people have described his partying style as "embarrassing dick-slapping", while others have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the best mayhem since my dad sexually dominated people left and right."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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