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Seraphim

Buster Machine No. 4177
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About Seraphim

Age: 29
Gender: M
Location: Salt Lake City, UT

Joined: 9 years ago on 06/28/05
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 5641 times
Would You Hit It? Would Seraphim?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I like hurling letters into the sea.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm in the business of imaginating.”

What's your dream job?

“Designing holodeck experiences and/or dancing for quarters.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“FLCL, Gurren Lagann, Gunbuster 2, Ebichu”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Despair's Ray, The Living End, Porno Graffiti”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Cosplay here and there.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Anime Expo, Anime Banzai.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“SS2, HoMM 3, HL1&2”

Jaeger Assignment

Seraphim is currently piloting INFINITY NARWHAL with sparkledonkey

INFINITY NARWHAL's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Fist-Mounted Chainsaw Flood of Retribution
  • Mustache-Mounted Machete

DOSSIER: Job is is to confuse Kaiju and supply ferocious counseling services to basically anybody who asks. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Derelict, a plan to use a game-changing, secret doomsday device to ensure inflation. Perhaps that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Nightmare when the pilots sacrificed countless homeless drunks in order to save its reputation. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will really bum you out just when the pilots are starting to have fun. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by fairly normal parents in the tranquil slums of Pittsburgh. Somewhat devastated by the painful goiter loss of father at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 19 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Soon, he mastered the secrets of drinking. Each grueling lesson was a step closer to the kind of shit that his heart yearned for.

Found himself at the school of hard knocks where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite impregnating nearly anybody that gave a shit. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he dedicated himself to experimenting with foreplay instead of jumping right into "the good stuff" and is basically doing alright.

Jealous people have described his combat aptitude style as "second-rate ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the toughest mayhem since Godzilla destroyed a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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