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Jesus

Buster Machine No. 4431
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About Jesus

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Wilmington, DE

Joined: 14 years ago on 08/03/05
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 584 days from now

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Would You Hit It? Would Jesus?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Throw Your Lives Away! For Great Justice!!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Crush all who Oppose Me. Well I like to take walks on nice days, and hang out with friends. Oh yeah go out and do fun stuff like amusement parks and the Ren fair”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I am a Splicing Tech for Verizon. I also plan on returning to school eventually to finish my degree.”

What's your dream job?

“Not sure anymore”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone who will love this crazy fool for who he is.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Can be difficult but can be worth it.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Bleach, Nadesco, The Slayers, Full Metal Panic, Kenshin, GTO, Berserk, Dual, Excel Saga, Vandread, and many many more...”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Mostly Rock and Metal”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I play video games every so often like random RPGs and Halo 2, Watch Anime, AMVs, and Parodies. But every thing is better when you do it with friends.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Otakon, Katsucon, AnimeNext, Maybe more if I can.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Lunar, Grandia, Wild Arms, Final Fantasy 7, Halo, Mario Brothers 3, Zelda-Link to the Past, Disgaea, Smash Brothers, Arkanoid, Marvel vs Capcom 2, Kingdom Hearts”

Jaeger Assignment

Jesus is currently piloting RAMBUNCTIOUS LUMBERJACK with nalfien

RAMBUNCTIOUS LUMBERJACK's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Mustache-Mounted Knuckles
  • Million-Blast Seizure Storm

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply tricky massages to other Jaegers, even during the melancholy of high-speed battles. Certainly that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Unstoppable Rumble when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of children in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. Frequently, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will act like a total asshole just when the pilots are starting to have fun. Everybody agrees: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was a drug lord. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were seduced by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. As time progressed, he learned the techniques of baking. Each joyful beat-down was a step toward the sensitive touching that that his sense of honor demanded.

Became high school valedictorian despite a painful recurring prolapse because of his immense determination.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

Deciding to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to square dancing and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"People need to understand, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the crazy situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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