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Azirphaeli the Oracle

Buster Machine No. 4612
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About Azirphaeli the Oracle

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: West Chester, PA

Joined: 12 years ago on 08/27/05
Last Visit: 11 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“YOSH! I'm Dan, I help run DAS Kanameiji. I eat 2 avacados a day, but only Wegman's Avacados”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Um.. Go on paranormal investigations and other unusual adventures. Also, I like good eating and I cook”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I make flash games, I work a real job too, and I am going to run an online RPG.”

What's your dream job?

“CIS related goodies”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Um, ask me about the Russell vs the Ice Dragon (otherwise known as, misadventurers in the frozen tunnel)”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Everybody, the more the merrier!”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They can work! YOU CAN DO IT!!11one”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“CHARGE!!! CROMARTIE HIGH SCOOL, One Piece, FMA, They Were 11, Kino's Journey”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“IDM, Industrial, J-Rock/Pop, Eurobeat, OCR, Techno, anything really save for Rap”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Watching Anime, Playing games, Playing AND MAKING Flash games, listening to odd music.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Otakon, the one that has Move playing, it's in Virginia”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Ikaruga, gradius, and other shootemups as well! Also, Shadow Hearts, Silent Hill, Siren, Katamari”

Other Online Gaming Info

“ROSE, Maple Story”

Jaeger Assignment

Azirphaeli the Oracle is currently piloting COURAGEOUS BEEFCAKE with Godroth

COURAGEOUS BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Knowledge Suplex Tantrum
  • Amazing Soup Ladle Assault

DOSSIER: Job is is to embarrass Kaiju and supply helpful tax advice to other Jaegers. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Hercules, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient fried chicken recipe to end this war for human survival. We can safely say that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Secret Diddler when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of orphans in order to save the oldest remaining public library in Topeka. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are heroic and have an unequaled ability to smash some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by loving parents in the peaceful suburbs of an average American small town. Life was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were eaten by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 5 that he swore revenge. As time progressed, he learned the secrets of flatulence. Each sexual beat-down was a step toward the sensitive touching that his parents expected from him.

Unlocked his inner unicorn in a den of thieves where he studied whatever the fuck he felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite impregnating nearly anybody that gave a shit. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by the President of what remained of the world.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at saving the Earth if he started touching himself a little more. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.

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