Nick The Newbie

Age: 33
Gender: M
Location: Laurel, MD

Joined: 12 years ago on 08/28/05
Last Visit: 11 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 28 days from now

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Nick The Newbie is currently piloting AMBITION SAVIOR with Momoko

AMBITION SAVIOR's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Groin-Mounted Sword
• Titanium Staff

DOSSIER: Job is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply tricky tax advice to civilians. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Rumble, a plan to use a fucked-up, truly astonishing nuclear weapon to end inflation. During the Battle Of Atlanta, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding choice of personal grooming habits. Everybody agrees: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to intensity.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by robots in the tranquil foothills of Madagascar. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that he discovered bathing. As time progressed, he mastered the secrets of flower arranging. Each withering moment was a step away from the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Found himself in a secret Buddhist temple where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up triumph despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.

In the aftermath of the touching clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by God himself.

So-called experts have described his robot piloting style as "embarrassing dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Arnold Schwartzeneggar destroyed Barcelona."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.