Nyla the Broke Explorer is currently piloting DRUNKEN FALCON with MeowKitty49
DRUNKEN FALCON's special combat abilities are known to include:
Labia-Mounted Missiles
Flaming Soup Ladle
DOSSIER: Likes to help friendly forces by improving their defensive capabilities. As we all know historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Unstoppable Rumble, during which most of Texas was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. At times, commanding officers have complimented the pilots' choice of personal grooming habits. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and have one purpose, which is to crush some Kaiju genitals.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of encouragement and church-going. At an early age, showed no promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 5 that she reached puberty. Each grueling moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that that her sense of honor demanded.
Became high school valedictorian despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because she was the one foretold by the prophecy.
She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up failure despite killing her best friend. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with some of the weakest bullshit attacks ever seen by mankind.
Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.
Experts have described her robot piloting style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while others have described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since Mike Tyson invaded all of my friends."
Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.
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