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BRANDON HEAT

Buster Machine No. 4797
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About BRANDON HEAT

Age: 45
Gender: M
Location: Chester, PA

Joined: 15 years ago on 09/22/05
Last Visit: 14 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would BRANDON HEAT?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“anime fanatic and proud member of daf(delaware anime fans)”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“games and cooking”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“security guard”

What's your dream job?

“chef”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“a fellow anime lover”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“they work somrtimes”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“cowboy bebop,gungrave,trigun,midori days,dears”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“rap and rock,j-pop,j-rock”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“i luv to watch anime and attend cons and other events with my fellow daf members”

Into games? List your favorites!

“kingdom hearts,prince of persia”

Jaeger Assignment

BRANDON HEAT is currently piloting STEAMY SAVIOR with Darksull

STEAMY SAVIOR's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Hummingbird's Jump-Kick
  • Legendary Flamethrower

DOSSIER: Role is is to upset Kaiju and supply tricky blowjobs to soldiers. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Resilient Asskicking, during which most of Philadelphia was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. At times, spiritual advisors have complimented the pilots' dedication to partying. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may act like a total asshole unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they aggressively fuck the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and gin. Life didn't really change much when imaginary friends were seduced by his little brother. It was at the age of 6 that he swore revenge. Each erotic day was a step closer to the kind of shit that his heart yearned for.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because his mother forced him to. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a scampering ferret with erotic levels of violence, termed "Elegant Bastard Style", he soon gained the erections of nudists.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was incinerated.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to square dancing and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.

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