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Buster Machine No. 4958
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About Yvaine

Age: 32
Gender: F
Location: Glenside, PA

Joined: 14 years ago on 10/21/05
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 1984 days from now

Public Photos

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Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 4977 times
Would You Hit It? Would Yvaine?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Another one of those MILFs. I have personality for miles.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I love music and video games so stuff that involves that usually. I also read. Those things. Called books. I really just like having a laugh and fun with friends.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I dispense drugs to the general public and put people on planes.”

What's your dream job?

“ Jazz lounge singer or professional cuddle buddy.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“ I lived an entire summer in Europe and didn't die and you should see my fun drawer.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“ If you don't piss me off after 5 minutes, you're in.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Been there done that, got the t-shirt.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“ Chobits, Sailor Moon, Battle Royale, Princess Pretear, Fullmetal Alchemist, InuYasha, Gundam, ect.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Eurodance and anything that isn't country or lame. ”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I dress up like a school girl for fun.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“BootyCon & ComicCon.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Katamari, Final Fantasy, Minecraft, Halo, Dance Dance Revolution, Para Para Paradise, Epic Mickey, & Super Mario.”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag


Other Online Gaming Info

“Diablo, Dark Souls”

Jaeger Assignment

Yvaine is currently piloting CRIMSON PUNCHER with Ozymandias

CRIMSON PUNCHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Orgasmic Bliss Uppercut
  • Foot-Mounted Mallet

DOSSIER: Job is to support soldiers by fortifying their sexual power. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a migrant worker. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Reluctantly spent the next several years masturbating in a secret gay bath house. Each enchanting fuck-up was a step toward the ultimate revenge that her heart yearned for.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at Sweet Valley High where she studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a scampering ferret with unbeatable speed, termed "Elegant Hulk Style", she soon gained the admiration of commanders.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite "accidentally" killing basically everybody. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she dedicated herself to embracing her inner sensuality and has no fucking idea what she's doing.

So-called experts have described her partying style as "embarrassing weaksauce", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the best mayhem since my dad ravaged your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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