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Buster Machine No. 4958
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About Yvaine

Age: 25
Gender: F
Location: Wallingford, PA

Joined: 8 years ago on 10/21/05
Last Visit: 6 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 118 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 2881 times
Would You Hit It? Would Yvaine?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Yvaine is currently piloting CRIMSON PUNCHER with Ozymandias

CRIMSON PUNCHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Orgasmic Bliss Uppercut
  • Foot-Mounted Mallet

DOSSIER: Job is to support soldiers by fortifying their sexual power. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a migrant worker. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Reluctantly spent the next several years masturbating in a secret gay bath house. Each enchanting fuck-up was a step toward the ultimate revenge that her heart yearned for.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at Sweet Valley High where she studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a scampering ferret with unbeatable speed, termed "Elegant Hulk Style", she soon gained the admiration of commanders.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite "accidentally" killing basically everybody. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she dedicated herself to embracing her inner sensuality and has no fucking idea what she's doing.

So-called experts have described her partying style as "embarrassing weaksauce", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the best mayhem since my dad ravaged your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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