tahariel

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 13 years ago on 11/14/05
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 556 days from now

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tahariel is currently piloting GOLDEN TORNADO with StrangeLife

GOLDEN TORNADO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Inefficient Soup Ladle
• Throbbing Taint Suplex Raid of Knowledge

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash surgical offense intended to confuse the Kaiju by speed-humping their genitals. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Derelict, a plan to use an experimental, new doomsday device to decisively end the designated hitter rule. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are heroic and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was deeply in love with her. Greatly devastated by the death of father because it was his idea in the first place. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 23 that he had a sex change. Each surpising day was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite excessive body odor because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up success despite killing Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to attempting to pilot his Jaeger sober and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

Jealous people have described his combat aptitude style as "amateur dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the coolest stuff since Mike Tyson invaded people left and right."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.